Last week I talked about how getting away from character-centric drama was the key for this show. Distract the audience with vampires so we don’t see just how poorly written this show is. “Gone Smooth” finally did that, and “It’s Not For Everyone” continued down that path.
That’s not to say there weren’t problems with this episode. Between the horror movie logic of Eph and Ansel’s wife to the magical sassy hacker to the not-so-triumphant return of Gus, there were plenty of nits to pick. But there were also enough interesting developments to drive the plot forward that those little moments didn’t bog the show down.
This is far from a great show, but it seems to be steadily improving with each episode. That’s a good sign.
1. Eph and Nora have seen those white blood worms up close in a previous episode. And yet they picked up Captain Redfern’s worm-infested body with nothing more than latex gloves. They made some passing remark about the worms, but it wasn’t until after Redfern’s body was on the slab. This is a very sloppy CDC.
2. The magical hacker. She’s smart! She’s sassy! She’s sexy! And she’s the only person who can crash the entire internet in less than a day.
It’s 2014. Aren’t we done with the magical hacker by now?
3. Ansel’s wife, Ann-Marie. I get it. She’s extremely religious and she loves her husband. That’s fine. I’m kind of religious and I love my wife. But, if I saw her drinking blood with a new appendage slithering from her mouth, I wouldn’t just tell her to get some rest, and I certainly wouldn’t leave her alone with the dog.
I also like how her religious background only extends so far. Ignore the fact that my husband is turning into a vampire? Okay. Kill my slightly annoying neighbor because he hit my dog once? Fine and dandy. Maybe she hadn’t gotten to the part in The Bible where they teach, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” That was just a metaphor, right? It wasn’t talking about your literal neighbor, especially if he’s being kind of annoying.
4. Eph heading back to the house he visited last week. After seeing Redfern, he knew what was going on, yet he still went into a house he was 90% sure had at least one vampire in it with absolutely no weapons and no backup (Nora doesn’t count as backup). That was a supremely stupid move.
5. Nora and Eph seemingly flipping characters over the course of one episode. In the previous episode, Nora tracked down Setrakian because she wanted to figure out what was really going on. In this episode, after being saved by Setrakian, Nora decides she wants no part of this, while Eph is all in. What changed over the course of one episode for her? Yes, she saw a little girl get beheaded. But she also knew it wasn’t truly a little girl anymore, as was evidenced by the stinger lashing out of the girl’s mouth, desperately trying to kill her. What was the alternative in that situation? Make a cup of tea and talk it out. Oh Nora, you know nothing of honor or dying by the sword.
1. Picked up right where the last episode left off; three professionals trying to figure out how to perform an autopsy on a vampire, then figuring out the best way to dispose of the body. Just like college, amiright?
I was eating dinner when Eph pulled the stinger out of Redfern’s body. I would advise against you doing that. Learn from my mistakes.
2. I could listen to Sean Astin scream, “His dick is gone,” for an entire episode.
3. The way Vampire Ansel looked chained up in the shed. His make-up looked like it came straight out of a low-budget zombie movie.
4. Jim confessing his role in the pending apocalypse. I wasn’t looking forward to watching an entire season (or more) of him trying to hide his betrayal. It’s out there now. You are dead to Eph and his crazed hair.
5. Setrakian showing up and beheading vampires with his silver sword while Nora screamed, “We have protocols! Protocols!” That made me laugh pretty hard.
6. Setrakian’s closing line of, “Get the gasoline.” It’s party time.