Dracula 3D Movie Review

This movie was awful. I won’t even waste time writing a full review for it. Instead, I’ll list things I’d rather do than watch this movie again.

 

Watch Soul Plane. Twice.

Watch myself get castrated without a numbing agent. Twice.

I would rather take an acid bath. I would rather have somebody inflict multiple paper cuts on my body and then jump in a pool of vinegar.

I would much rather have somebody cut my arm open and stitch a McDonalds french fry inside the wound(They’re the saltiest things I could think of)

I would rather engage in consensual intercourse with Leatherface. Twice.

I would rather lose the ability to see, hear and touch. I would rather never listen to music again.

I would trade any of my body parts to never have to watch this again. I would very much rather get shot in the gut and die slowly while people laugh at me in a circle. These people may also throw things at me if they wish, I don’t care.

As some of you may know, I don’t do letter grades, stars or number grades. This will break my rule

Letter Grade: F——-

Number Grade: -36 out of 10

Stars out of 5: Not only does this movie get no stars, I am automatically subtracting 10 stars from the next 5 Argento movies I watch.

Thank you for reading and don’t watch this movie.

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