Wrong House: A Short Story

Dave and Susan were making love when their home was invaded. They heard a kick that splintered the front door and then another that knocked it wide open. It smashed loudly against the wall.

Susan was on top and she looked down at Dave. “I think you should check that out.”

Dave pushed her off. “Probably. Stay here.” He stalked out of the room naked.

Two men in black ski masks met him in the hall. Both carried pistol grip shotguns and had Glocks riding their hips. It didn’t look like their first time.

The taller of the pair pressed the barrel of his shotgun into Dave’s bare chest. “Where you headed, tough guy?”

“I thought I heard a noise,” Dave said.

The shorter one laughed. “That’s pretty funny.”

“Yeah,” said his partner, and jabbed Dave with the barrel. “You’re hilarious. Why don’t you back your comedic ass up into that bedroom?”

Dave started to turn around but Tall Guy hit him in the face with the shotgun. “I said back up, shit head.”

Blood was running briskly out of Dave’s nose. Without wiping it away he walked backward toward the bedroom. The two men followed, shoulder to shoulder, filling the hallway, their weapons never wavering.

When Dave got to the doorway, Tall Guy hit him again, this time in the belly. Dave folded up and Tall Guy shoved him into the bedroom. He tumbled in on his back and Susan yelled “What the fuck?”

The shorter man followed Dave in. He stayed low and moved fast. In a moment, he was at the edge of the bed with his shotgun in Susan’s face. Tall Guy was covering him from the doorway.

“Don’t move, doll,” Shorty said.

Dave got to his feet. “You stay right there,” Tall Guy told him.

Shorty backed into a corner where he could cover both Dave and Susan. “I’m good,” he said.

“Excellent,” Tall Guy said. “Let’s do this.”

“OK,” Shorty said, and twitched the shotgun at Susan. “Let’s have you get up slowly and head over there beside your man.”

Susan got out of bed naked and walked to Dave’s side. “You OK, babe?”

He smiled through the blood. “I am.”

“Why don’t you put some clothes on, pal?” Shorty said. “I’m tired of looking at your dick.”

Dave pulled on a pair of sweats that were draped at the foot of the bed. Susan reached for the t-shirt she’d tossed on the floor earlier.

“Nope,” Shorty said. “Just him, doll.”

Susan turned to face him. Sweat from their love-making still gleamed on her tits. “Really? Jesus Christ.” She didn’t move to cover herself with her arms, just glared at him.

“Let’s go,” Tall Guy said. He moved out into the hall, his gun steady on them.

“Follow him,” Shorty told them. “Very slowly. He’ll be in front of you the whole way. I’ll be behind you. You’re locked between us and any movements we find overly interesting will get you fucking shot. Understand?”

“Not entirely,” Dave said. “If he’s in front and you’re behind us, won’t you hit each other if you have to shoot?

“Holy fucking shit,” Tall Guy said. “Are you still being funny?”

“It’s more logistics than comedy.”

Shorty took a quick step toward them and laid his shotgun barrel against Susan’s ear. “You have two choices. Shut the fuck up and she lives. Keep yammering and she dies. Pick.”

Dave eyed Susan. “Let’s keep her around.”

“Then shut your yap and move.”

The four of them went down the hallway, Dave and Susan walking between the invaders. They were herded into the kitchen. Tall Guy gestured at the table in the middle of the room. “Sit down.”

Dave and Susan pulled out chairs and sat.

Shorty drifted to a corner again. His shotgun remained threatening. “Make them comfortable.”

Tall Guy unzipped a black duffel bag that was lying on the floor. He pulled out a handful of stuff and went to work.

Dave’s ankles were individually zip-tied to the legs of the chair. His wrists were fixed to the arms the same way. Tall Guy did the same thing to Susan then he showed them a roll of silver duct tape. “I can do your mouths but that’s dangerous. You could suffocate. But you seem like reasonable folks. If you promise to keep quiet we don’t have to worry about this.”

“We’ll be quiet,” Susan said.

Tall Guy looked at her tits. “You say that now. We’ll see.”

Shorty had relaxed. He leaned against the wall, the shotgun loose. “I’m sure they’ll be fine. Get to work.”

Tall Guy picked up the duffel bag and disappeared into the house.

Susan looked at Shorty. “So. After you guys get done I’m sure you’re just going to let us go, huh?”

“If you cooperate.”

She shook her hair out of her face and her breasts jiggled. “You don’t have any other plans?”

Shorty slid off the wall and stepped up to her chair. He let the muzzle of the shotgun hit the seat between her legs then he shoved it forward till it was snugged against her labia. His free hand plucked her right nipple until it stiffened. “Oh, I have plans. That’s why we brought the duct tape. You look like a biter, not a screamer.”

Dave laughed. “Indeed.”

Shorty looked at him. “You don’t seem particularly concerned here, friend.” He put the shotgun on the table and walked behind Susan’s chair. He leaned over her and cradled a breast in each palm. He slowly circled her nipples with his thumbs. “I’d be concerned if I were you.” He put his nose in Susan’s hair at the nape of her neck and took a deep breath. “I’d be all kinds of concerned.”

Dave was wearing a smile under his bloody nose. “I am a little concerned. For you, little guy.”

Susan jerked her head around and snapped her teeth at Shorty’s face. He recoiled just in time. “Goddammit!” he yelled, and snatched the shotgun off the table. He reversed it and slammed the butt into the side of Susan’s head.

She didn’t move an inch. Didn’t even appear to have noticed he’d hit her. She wiggled her tits at him. “Come on back, baby. Come back one more time.”

Shorty backed across the kitchen, the shotgun trained on her. Dave laughed.

Tall Guy popped up in doorway and said “What the hell’s going on in here?”

Shorty jumped. “Nothing’s going on. What have we got?”

Tall Guy tossed the duffel on the floor. It made a heavy thud. “Jewelry. Cash. A few antique-looking things. Couple laptops.  It’s getting a little loud in here. Do we need the tape?”

Susan smiled. “You might need it for your buddy, there. Tape his fingers to that shotgun. When he puts it down he tends to stick his hands where they don’t belong.”

“Is that right?” Tall Guy looked at Shorty. “I told you no flirting till we’re done.”

“Fine,” Shorty said. “I’ll finish up. You keep an eye on these assholes.”
“Both eyes,” Tall Guy said, and put them on Susan’s tits. She smiled at him.

When Shorty was gone Tall Guy smiled back at Susan. “Did you scare my pal? He seemed a bit jumpy.”

“I wasn’t trying to scare him,” Susan said. “I thought he wanted to play.”

“We don’t normally play with folks, you know. We get in, get the stuff, get out. Clean and simple. But you, doll.” He shook his head. “Whew. You are a piece. And you being already naked when we arrived…I dunno. It just seems like fate.”

“You can’t argue with fate,” Susan said, and stood up. The chair came apart around her, pieces of it still zip-tied to her.

Tall Guy snapped his shotgun up but she was already there. She yanked it away from him with one hand and slammed him against the wall with the other, her palm over his mouth. He made muffled grunts, eyes wide.

“Now I’m going to play with you,” she whispered. “And my man over there is going to play with your little partner.”

“Tie him to a chair,” Dave said.

“Good call.”  Susan, her hand still clamped over Tall Guy’s mouth, maneuvered him into one of the other chairs. “If I take my hand away, are you going to yell?”

Tall Guy’s eyes were still bulging. He nodded. Then he shook his head.

Susan laughed. “Which is it, dummy?”

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head no. “Excellent,” Susan said and removed her hand.

“What the fuck?” he whispered. “What the fuck is happening?”

Susan fished through the duffel bag and pulled out more zip ties. She trussed him up exactly the way he’d done them. “There you go, doll,” she said. “All snug and tight.”

Dave looked at his new companion and grinned. “Nice work.”

“What the fuck?” Tall Guy said. He was shaking. “How did she do that?”

“Be quiet,” Dave told him. “I hear your buddy coming back.”

Susan slipped into the far corner of the room and went still. When Shorty walked in he said “I can’t find anything else. I think you got it all.” He stopped when he saw Tall Guy sitting next to Dave. “What are doing over there?”

Tall Guy flicked his eyes toward the corner where Susan waited but Shorty didn’t get it. “Seriously. What the fuck are you doing?”

Dave jumped up. His chair exploded and showered Tall Guy with splinters. Shorty was faster than his partner. He almost got the barrel of the shotgun into Dave’s chest but Dave sidestepped him and wrenched it free.

Shorty backpedaled and slapped for the Glock on his hip. Dave smacked him in the face and he went down. Shorty tried to crawl away but Dave scooped him up and tossed him onto the kitchen floor next to Tall Guy.

“We’re running out of chairs,” Susan said from her corner.

“That’s alright,” Dave said. “We’re about to run out of bad guys.”

Susan picked Shorty up from the floor and cradled him in her arms. “I want this one.”

Dave smiled. “Of course you do.” He watched Shorty struggle like a kitten trying to escape a toddler.

Susan said “Shhh” and patted him on the head. Her mouth grew jagged shark’s teeth and gaped open wide. She nuzzled the side of his neck and then bit deep into it.

Tall Guy didn’t notice his bladder let go but he did notice Dave suddenly standing beside him. Dave’s mouth had gone all huge and sharklike, too. “Hi, there,” he said.

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