The Zombie Story Checklist

Despite the relative young age of the website, I have received more Zombie stories than anything else. I have unfortunately not accepted any of them because of how generic they were.

I appreciated how hard the authors worked on their stories, and there were some very interesting parts in them, but Zombies in general are just done for me.

I have decided to create a Zombie Story Checklist. If you are able to check something off in every section, then you should probably go back and re-write some stuff.

Choose an occupation for your main character.

1. Police Officer

2. Soldier

3. Courier

They were comatose due to being involved in the following.

1. Car Accident

2. Bicycle Accident

3. Shooting Accident

They wake up in

1. Civilian Hospital

2.Military Hospital

3.Mental Hospital.

They wake up and go

1.Home (It’s always home)

They are searching for their

1. Wife

2. Son

3. Wife and Son

(It is never a daughter)

They meet up with a group that consists of

1. One white woman, One Asian or African American male, Two white males.

2. One white woman, two white males.

3. Two white women, One Asian or African American male, One white male.

The Abrasive white male dies in the following way.

1. Noble Sacrifice

2. Killed in an argument with one of the Caucasian females.

3.Noble Sacrifice

The main character falls in love with

1. The white chick…always the God-Damned white girl.

The story ends

1. With everybody dying.

2. With everybody except the lovers dying.


-Shawn Lachance

2 thoughts on “The Zombie Story Checklist”

  1. Um, of course they’re never looking for a daughter, but always fall in love with the white chick. Ha ha, don’t even get me started on the topic of “white women”. I am of mixed heritage, but “pass” for white and it’s unbelievable to me what a difference that makes. Anyway…. I have the same issues with Zombie stories that you just pointed out. I don’t know why I love The Walking Dead so much, seeing as how it encompasses most of these plot points……Maybe the lack of a lot of these issues is the reason Night Of The Living Dead is so amazing? It’s the original yes,but it’s more a commentary on war;not falling in love with the white girl. Barbara was annoying, anyway!

  2. For once I’d like to see a strong female character in a movie that isn’t denigrated to love interest in the final act and isn’t white. It’s one of the things I loved so much about 28 days later. I absolutely agree about Night Of The Living Dead, I love how it didn’t pay attention to the norms and just told a real story.

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