For Halloween, I made a list of 24 hours of horror movies for Halloween (you can read that post here). I had a lot of fun doing it, so I thought I’d make one for Christmas. This list assumes a two-hour running time for each movie.
So, if you don’t feel like spending time with your family – or if you feel like watching a ton of horror movies with your family – here is a way to spend your Christmas.
I thought we’d start off with something light-hearted. And by “light-hearted” I mean “murdering goblins running loose and talk of a sweet girl’s father dying in a chimney.” Hurray!
Also, Phoebe Cates.
Dead End (2003)
A Christmas shortcut turns into an endless drive filled with death, confusion and a sinister hearse patrolling the road. The ending is a bit predictable, but the acting is tremendous (with Ray Wise and Lin Shaye on board, how could it not be?) and there are some great visuals.
Rachel Nichols is stalked in an empty parking garage on Christmas by a psychopathic Wes Bentley. He dresses as Santa and uses “Blue Christmas” as a means of psychological torture. I can fully understand why some people wouldn’t like this, but I’m a huge fan (mainly because I love the two leads).
Santa Claus (1959)
Santa enters into battle with one of Satan’s minions for the soul of a young girl. Or something. It was hard to follow at times. It’s cheap and stupid, but it killed me.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
It’s cheap. It’s dumb. The motivations of most of the characters make no sense. But it’s a lot of fun. There’s a happy little montage of grown-up Billy (wearing clothes that are entirely too tight) helping people at a store. An elderly, deaf priest dressed as Santa is shot in the back. Linnea Quigley makes a brief appearance. It’s entirely ridiculous, but highly enjoyable. NAUGHTY!
Santa’s Slay (2005)
10:00 AM-12:00 PM
Where Silent Night, Deadly Night was unintentionally ridiculous, this one is intentionally ridiculous. A star-studded cast in the opening scene (James Caan, Rebecca Gayheart, Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan) is quickly killed off, which sets the scene for an over-the-top killing spree by Bill Goldberg’s Santa Claus. It’s completely over-the-top, and I really liked it.
Christmas Evil (1980)
A slow-build that never gets overly crazy, but does have some pretty fun kills and a handful of great moments. There are some great performances here as well. They really help keep my interest throughout the entire film.
Silent Night, Zombie Night (2009)
Low-budget and pretty stupid zombie movie. It’s not great, but, if you’re in the right mood (and have a good amount of alcohol in your system), it can be fun.
Jack Frost (1997)
Murdering, wise-cracking snowman. Not quite as over-the-top as Santa’s Slay, but still pretty ridiculous. Fun watch with a group of friends.
Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972)
Black Christmas is held up as the crown jewel of Christmas horror (and rightly so), but it seems to borrow heavily from this movie. Has a similar look and feel, with a good sense of mystery and tension that holds through the entire movie. This isn’t as good as Black Christmas, and it kind of starts veering off the rails by the end, but I really love this movie.
Rare Exports (2010)
A unique view of Santa Claus. Creepy, weird, and pretty funny. It’s not for everyone, but I love it. It has quickly become a must-watch movie this time of year. (I recently talked about this movie here and here, and Fremont talked about it here.)
Black Christmas (1974)
10:00 PM – 12:00 AM
We close our Christmas with what is widely regarded as the best Christmas horror of all time. I didn’t see this until recently, so I don’t have quite as high an opinion of it as others, but I still really love it. A great movie to close out your Christmas.
This is also talked about as the first modern slasher movie. And, while I don’t agree with that statement, I can certainly see the merits in the argument.
Merry Christmas, everyone.