Best Top 10 Movies of 2013
10. The Lords of Salem – Yeah that’s right Shawn…I said it.
9. MaMa – Great story, but a suck ass ending (see next list).
8. Texas Chainsaw 3D – Because Leatherface could fart on video and I’d still watch it.
7. The Purge – Because I’m looking to shoot someone in the head for any other reason than a zombie apocalypse.
6. Carrie – Because it was better than I thought it was going to be.
5. Maniac – How could you not count this?
4. Evil Dead – Get your pitchforks and fire out now, but you’ll still have to catch me. I liked it.
3. American Mary – Just because I like the concept of goth twin directors.
2. Hatchet 3 – I love to hate and hate to love Danielle Harris.
1. The Conjuring – I cannot sit in the dark with a doll and clap anymore.
Worst Top 10 Movies of 2013
10. Insidious 2. – Sucked.
9. World War Z – Sucked more.
8. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters – Sucked the most
7. MaMa – Good film, good story, ending sucked.
6. Warm Bodies – Not sure if it is actually horror, but it still sucked.
5. The ABCs of Death – Suckiest suck that has ever sucked suck.
4. The ABCs of Death – Sucked more suck than a suck can suck.
3. The ABCs of Death – Sucked so much suck than a suck could suck.
2. The ABCs of Death – Sucked so much more suck than a suck could ever suck.
1. The ABCs of Death – Sucked, sucked, sucked, suck! (Recommendation – Move to Thailand for a job.)
10. Goliath – Butcher Babies. For the reason…have you seen them!?!
9. Charlemagne: The Omens of Death – Christopher Lee. That’s right; Christopher “F’n Dracula” Lee himself did a metal album! For all I care he could have burped for 60 minutes into the microphone and it still would’ve been metal enough to make this list!
8. Straight Out of Hell – Helloween. Not that the name alone buys them a place on this list but this power metal group has been going hard since 1984. So much better than their 2012 effort that sucked more than “The ABCs of Death”.
7. Das Seelenbrechen – Ihsahn. Since being in Emperor Ihsahn has done nothing but gotten better. This album fits perfectly into his other collections.
6. Satyricon – Satyricon. Mainly because, well,…he’s Satyr!
5. Everblack – Black Dahlia Murders. I think the title just about says it all.
4. The Underground Resistance – Darkthrone. Sounding more NWOBHM than punk, this is what I liked to hear from these guys.
3. Venomous Rat Regeneration Vendor – Rob Zombie. The heir to Alice Cooper’s throne returned this year with another blistering go-go dance/metal opus that is somehow a rock opera…Just no one understands how and he won’t explain it.
2. Winter Kills – Devildriver. Dez always pushes his limits and enjoys making other bands push their’s too. With a cover of AWOLnation’s “Sail”, this album does just that.
1. The Dixie Dead – Wednesday 13. Nothing else to say. From the cover, the song material, the production, the lyrics and the band line up, I don’t recall owning another album that I have played on repeat as much as this one.